Text Tuesday: List-Making

The squash bed, first attempt

To keep up with everything I want to accomplish each week, I've started a weekly To Do list. If you know me (or have read this blog for very long), you know I love lists. I've found, however, that a daily list is too confining, especially with a three-year-old at home who is as mulish as he is adventuresome. But a weekly list gives me the space I need to try to get everything done, and the freedom to do what I can, when I can.

Here is my current weekly list:
Transcribe 45 pages of my novel
Finish laundry and put it away
Weave-in ends on 4 strips
Weed Mom's back yard (her Mother's Day gift from me)
Move dirt into beds and around trees
Transplant: corn, squash, zucchini, whatever else I can get to
Find length of wood for cantaloupe bed
Plant poppy seeds
Go to Bankruptcy meeting, take bank account statements
Mail DSHS forms as soon as completed
Organize at friends' houses (4-5 hours)
Host a group playdate Wednesday afternoon (if not raining)
Take Mom to her appointment and then thrift shopping
Start daily journaling with Kate
Have Liam start his own mini garden (give him left over seeds to plant)
Chores this week: catbox, tub, toilet, mop kitchen floor
Grocery shopping

Do I think I'll get to all of this? Maybe not. I might not get all the pages transcribed (I feel short by 7 pages last week), or all the chores (2 for this week are leftovers from last week). I'd like to plant more starts than are on my list, but those listed need to get planted this week. The meetings are a must, the thrift store shopping is dependent on how Mom feels after her appointment. So nothing on here is set in stone, but it is a good guideline to how I want to spend my week. Not including, of course, getting the kids up and ready for the day, feeding everyone, playing games with TC and the kids, and feeding the pets their specialized diets (and giving the cat his pills) each day. If I do it right, I should be collapsing in happy exhaustion by the end of the day.

So I guess we'll see how I did at the end of the week, shall we?

The New Normal: Two Months

Apollo tolerating Beau's presence on 'his' couch.

Isn't there a line from Ghostbusters about dogs and cats living together? And mass hysteria? Could this be a sign of things to come, or just a symbol of the peace my household has achieved in the last two months? Whatever it is, Beau and Apollo look quite comfortable.

It's been just over two months since TC lost his job and while we aren't back up on our feet yet, we're getting closer. He's been working almost 30 hours a week the past two weeks training for his on-call position. He has another interview on Friday and several applications under review. He was approved for unemployment benefits, a huge boon considering we were told by nearly everyone that we would be deny. With the new level of income, we lost 90% of our food benefits, which is sad considering our income isn't quite enough to meet all our monthly needs that must now include groceries, but we still have a chunk of savings left to help us through for now as long as we are careful. And our lives have become all about careful.

I've found some great thrift stores and have starting going to garage sales to keep the kids (and us) in clothing. I've stocked up the freezer chest my mom got for us and will continue to stock it as we can. I'm building up my garden from a handful of container plants to whole sections of yard and have several different seeds started and ready for planting. It's exciting, trying to put together a garden that will help feed us. I think my Grandpa Beaman would be proud of me. He liked to watch things grow.

I'm still doing some odd jobs for friends, and I've picked up my writing again, all of which is much more fulfilling than I anticipated. With the money I've been able to bring in, we've been able to support Kate at school with her field trips and year book, and also have a little bit of money for my movie nights and bunco, and TC to go out every now and then, too. It isn't much, but we never had much to begin with, so that really hasn't changed. We've just gotten more careful, so in some ways, it feels like we have more.

Ah, the powers of perception. I will continue to apply it to our lives to help us feel prosperous and rich, even without money. It's amazing how well it has been working. I'm learning to go without and to make do, to barter and to thrift shop, to trade and to share. And you know what--I love it! I feel even more a part of my community than ever before and I can't remember the last time I was able to help friends out as much as I have lately with my time and energy. Or to work doing things I enjoy, like organizing and crocheting and sewing. The trick has been to find the balance to do all these things and keep up with building a new garden and keeping up with the kids and doing all the phone calls and paperwork necessary lately. And still get dishes done and chores finished.

It's been a lot of work, but it's been good work. I can't remember appreciating my life more than I do just now. And to think it took such an upheaval to make it happen. I could almost thank TC's former employer.

But I won't. We still have a grievance with them after all. And I do miss having health care. But I can forgive everyone involved, and that, I think, is enough for now.

Monday Matinee: Quarterly Movie Review

Since I haven't been able to do my weekly movie reviews in a while, I thought I would do a quarterly movie reviews using one-sentence reviews.

Here Comes the Boom: If you've seen the previews, there isn't much more to tell.

Cloud Atlas: Easily my favorite movie of the year, though for folks easily confused by several time shifts in a movie, this could be frustrating to watch.

Red Dawn: an excellent homage to a classic movie.

Life of Pi: The visuals were stunning, the ending was a kick in the gut.

Breaking Dawn Part 2: Could have been truly epic.

Wreck It Ralph: If you love video games, don't miss this movie.

Argo: Very well handled retelling of a frightening event.

Flight: The ending made the whole movie worthwhile, though we dubbed it "Vice" while watching it.

The Hobbit: Another visuals stunner with great acting, but felt like the director's cut.

Hitchcock: Masterfully done, with much more emotion that I had expected.

Anna Karenina: I could write a literary paper over how this movie worked on so many levels, but it felt long and the non-English Majors around me were shifting in their seats.

Rise of the Guardians: Just a fun, well-told children's tale about holiday super-heroes.

Les Miserables: What stays with me most is how quietly the words were sung at times and how it changed their whole meaning, something that just can't be done in a crowded stage theater.

Zero Dark Thirty: Fascinating, but I couldn't keep up with all the in-house lingo and felt like I needed a translator at times.

Lincoln: I don't know how this movie could have gotten any better.

Hyde Park on Hudson: Murray was excellent as FDR, but the King and Queen of England stole the show.

The Impossible: A miraculous story set amid a horrible tragedy--even the previews made me cry.

Warm Bodies: Zombie-love story that actually worked!

Jack Reacher: The best written action movie I've seen in a long while, so now I must find the book to read.

I'd say my top three of this list are "Cloud Atlas," "Jack Reacher," and "Wreck It Ralph." To get into a top category for me means that I'd happily watch it over and over again. "Warm Bodies" and "Rise of the Guardians" would be tied for fourth.

The New Normal: One Month

Needle-felted stepping stones in the needle-felted river.

One month ago today, things changed. We're changing with it.

If feels like so much longer than a month. Each week has brought new paperwork to file, new resources to explore, new ways to save money, and new ways to enjoy our time as a family. I've changed how I do our budget and finances, how I meal-plan, how I think about shopping and driving, and how I think about what work means to me. It's also made me realize what's important to keep in my life and what I can let go.

What I've let go:

• Eating Out (we'd eat out once or twice a week before)
• Magazine subscriptions (I usually have between 5 and 7--they have dwindled down to 4 and 2 of those end this month) and the newspaper subscription
• Running out to the store at the first sign of need or want
• Buying books
• Buying DVDs and games
• Hulu Plus
• Credit Cards

What I've kept:

• Movie nights (it's only $3.00 a movie at our local theater on Tuesday nights)
• Netflix (we don't have cable TV, so this is our only source of TV entertainment)
• Cable Modem for the Internet (it's our main form of job-searching and keeping in touch with everyone we know)
• My library card (we go every couple weeks now)
• My gardening (I've gotten dirt and seeds from friends and family and I've making much more headway than I would have pre-job loss, I think, trying to plan for less produce to buy)

What I've added:

• Bike rides (I sold my bike, so I'm using my mom's and the kids love going out for a ride)
• More park playdate (outside with friends for free--what's not to like?)
• Massive decluttering (we have a small house--only 750 square feet--which is crammed with stuff and people lately, so I'm downsizing the stuff!)

I don't really miss most of what I've let go, though when I can't find a book I'd like to read in our library consortium, it's hard not to want to buy it used online, but I've resisted. There are a few magazines I'll miss, but I look forward to subscribing to them again when we are able. Eating out I miss only when friends are planning a restaurant trip. I know I couldn't just go to hang out--I'd feel too tempted to purchase something, or my friends might feel obliged to offer to pay for me to eat. We've accepted so much help already that accepting a free meal at an expensive restaurant would feel like I was a fraud or pushing my luck or something equally guilt-inducing, so I politely decline for now. There will come a time when maybe I can accept again.

That time might be coming sooner than we'd thought, too. Exactly one month to the day that TC lost his job, he was hired for an on-call position at a facility both closer to home and on our side of the river (where we don't have to pay income tax). It isn't a long-term solution, but it gets his foot in the door to a large employer where he can begin apply internally for work--and since he's been vetted by their HR, it's one less hurdle, too. We are very excited and TC is so happy to be able to find work. It'll help keep us afloat a little longer until something full-time comes along. And it gives me a chance to continue pursuing my non-traditional employment!

Any Random Thursday: Living Off the Grid

Since our new normal began, I've let all my magazine subscriptions slide, so I've been reading back-issues of my favorites. Yesterday I read about a woman who lives in a place in the Appalachian mountains called Bethie's Hollow. She has a wood stove and a tin roof.

When I was younger, my folks talked about selling everything and moving to the mountains of Colorado. They'd homeschool my brother and I and live simply. Later, they talked of buying a boat to sail around the world.

I understand that desire more and more. Probably not the part about a boat because I get terribly seasick, but the intention of escaping conventional life and expectations. I could see myself owning a little camper and travelling from state park to national park, writing and crafting by day, keeping container gardens that I could pack up and move with me, roaming hiking trails and farmer's markets.

Or owning a tiny house somewhere in the woods, with a clearing for garden space and a wood stove for wintertime. I'd host tea parties and crafting circles and write by the firelight and keep a horse in a small stable next to the house to ride each morning after I fed the chickens and rabbits and goats.

Either way, I'd be surrounded by books and writing, yarn and crafts, sewing machines and embroidery hoops, a small laptop and tall tomato plants. There wouldn't be a T.V. or X-box in sight, though I'm sure I'd still have a Kindle so I could read my friends' E-books.

And there wouldn't be so much stuff. Just those things that I loved or that reminded me of beautiful moments and wonderful places. I wouldn't be nesting over a basement full of boxes.

I use to believe such feelings meant I wanted to run away from the disarray that was my life, but now I think it is just my soul calling out to me in moments when I'm too lost to focus on those daily things that drown its voice. When I'm still and quiet, I feel it more and more, like an invisible hand has reached into my gut to grab hold of my spine, trying to pull me in the direction I need to go.

Why do I resist? Fear, mostly. It's unconventional. It's not the way my husband and children are use to living, or something they might even want to do. It's easier to live conventionally, with all the conveniences and securities that life affords.

Only it isn't so secure any more. And I'm getting over the fear.

And I'm seeing more and more folks living unconventional lives around me, carving out their little urban homesteads for health and pleasure and purpose. I'm realizing that I don't have to follow the convention. I'm already breaking with it, finding employment doing some of the things I love rather than searching for jobs that would be only to get us by. And I love it! I want to do more work that I love, with folks willing to pay me to help them organize their homes or craft them something special or help them with their writing. These things have meaning for me, powerful meaning that, for all I'm a writer, I find hard to put into words.

So I've already begun my unconventional life. I've allowed myself to embrace small dreams. I'm ready to throw open the cage door and let the other dreams take flight.

I don't know yet how to get the family on board. Maybe I don't need to. After all, how much do they remember is in all those boxes in the basement anyway? Will they even miss it if I clear off the accumulated stuff on the kitchen window sill? Or from the kids' bookshelves? Would they really complain about daily bike rides and fresh, homegrown produce or handmade gifts and weekly library trips? Or exploring new hiking trails together, taking picnic lunches with us?

I guess we'll find out.

The New Normal: Health and Food

Delilah in her Springtime gown.

We had a wonderful Easter weekend, though Saturday I was under the weather. It did give me an excuse for a delicious nap in a sun-warmed bedroom with my little boy curled up next to me. Easter was gorgeous, one of the finest days we've had since last Summer. The daffodils are in their prime and the tulips are opening, and our weeping cherry tree, Delilah, is dripping with little pink cherry blossoms. The kids woke to find plump Easter baskets, compliments of their grandparents and Aunt Stina, and had two fun egg hunts. We also went out on a couple family bike rides.

Tuesday was the four-week mark of our new normal. I wish it had greeted us with better news for TC. He's had three interviews, which is awesome, but was passed over for two of those jobs. The third is still pending. They want him, but he has to get through the HR process, and for some reason, it's been hurdle after hurdle. It would be a nice job to have, though it is strictly on-call and mostly nights when he did work, but he'd have his foot in the door and could start applying internally for other work, which was how he ended up with his former position. So we are still hopeful.

No good news on the grievance front, either. Most likely it will be drawn out into some extended action. Which does nothing to help our current lack of financial earnings but is still worth pursuing. Much like unemployment. We've claimed for three weeks now but still haven't heard whether it is approved. I think we'll hear this week, but I'm not encouraged that it will be good news. Still, had to try and we might be pleasantly surprised.

The best news is that the kids are now on the state's health care plan, so I don't have to fret about them falling ill. I do find that I'm driving much more safely, since TC and I are no longer covered by health care. I am trying not to worry about things like kidney stones (which we both are prone to getting) or bladder infections or any of those things that make me rush to Urgent Care. Trying to live carefully, aware of your own frailness, is tiresome, but I'd rather take precautions than have one emergency trip completely wipe us out.

And better still, our food aid benefits will finally begin in a week. It's been a long month of scraping by, though not scraping as deeply as we might have thanks to the generosity of friends and family. I've only had to go out a couple times to replenish things like bread and milk and the odd condiments like soy sauce that I feel weird asking others to pick up for us. It's been a pleasant experiment, putting together our meals based on what we've been given for our pantry. I've tried foods and combinations I wouldn't have before all of this, and I've gotten darn good at making our own biscuits.

And for all that I use to dread grocery shopping and meal planning and for all that I'm thankful for all the support we've gotten, I'm looking forward to go grocery shopping again at last. It's been a month since I've shopped for all our own groceries. I've inventoried the freezer and am going to inventory the pantry, and from that plan our meals to build our grocery list. I don't plan on going crazy, because at this point in our lives, frugality is our wisest action.

I'm trying to learn other frugal methods, too. But that is fodder for another post.

Friday Fun: Conjoined Hobbies

 

 

I've two new fun-filled activities to help counteract the challenges I'm currently facing in my day-t-day life. I'm amazed that I've managed to combine them.

First off, there is a series of board games called Runebound, Descent: Journeys in the Dark, and Runewars. All three games are from Fantasy Flight, and all build on the same stable of characters, though each has its own unique set of rules, components, and gamer interactions. TC had the idea of combining the three into a campaign for us to run with our friend, Mike. We all choose a character who we would play throughout the games, and TC has been using the events of each board game session to build a storyline that connects each session. It's an exciting idea for the three of us, all former avid RPGers.

I choose Varikas the Dead, for anyone familiar with the system. I liked the possibilities of his back story. For those of you not familiar with the system, there is NO back story. Only a character quote to guide you, along with the basic gaming stats and a character picture. Nothing else about him to go from.

The second activity is something I'd heard about but never tried before. Camp Nanowrimo is a spring and summer version of Nanowrimo, only participants can choose their word count and the type of work they write. I'm trying not to think of it as Nano-light, but in a way it is considering that rather than 50,000 words in 30 days on a story that reaches 'The End,' it can be 30,000 words on a work in progress or 10,000 words on a series of poems. Plus there is the added bonus of being a 'cabin' with other writers from all around, getting to know them and help to motivate and encourage each other. No fireside s'mores, though, unless I break out the fire pit and scrounge up the supplies (though that is a very good idea).

It's an exciting concept, and a new way of thinking about writing groups and writing challenges. It is also a great way for me to jump back into writing.

If you haven't seen how theses two activities are connected, you might not know me very well. Frankly, when given a character with no back story to play for any length of time and a chance to write, I'm going to write that character's story. It's inevitable. I've even been known to write songs and poems. And to try to draw pictures (these rarely see the light of day).

And so for Camp Nano, I'll be writing about the adventures of Varikas the Dead. I've been keeping notes during our board game sessions and also building up Varikas' history. And I've created a companion for him, someone who travels with him but isn't actually part of the campaign. Someone who I can use as my 'eyes,' as it were, in which to watch Varikas' adventures and to tell his story.

Yes, I do consider it cheating to base a story on any sort of RPG campaign, but it is a fun exercise in writing, and really not much different than writing fan fiction. Both come with a ready-made world and cast of characters and a desire to impress the writer's own imagination onto something we admire and enjoy.

I've decided to try for 25,000 words, which is 835 words a day. Figuring about 250 words per page, that is just over 3 pages a day. Enough to be challenging, but not enough to be stressful or overwhelming. The perfect combination. And I've already two gaming sessions of notes ready to go and the opening scene planned out in my head. With the promise of gaming session each Saturday evening, I should have enough material to keep me going through April. And maybe onwards, too! 

I can't wait to see how it all plays out.